I recently visited the Apple store to exchange a defective power adapter which was still under warranty.  I still have the defective adapter, as it has now cost more time and effort than it was originally worth.

What I have lost is time, money, and trust in the ethics of the retail store.  What I have gained is disdain for their tactics and a sick feeling every time I hear “Apple Store.”

Why don’t I just dump my MacBook Pro and go with a PC?  Because my employer uses Mac-based programs and hardware and I don’t see my building replacing 300+ machines any time soon.  Whether “fanboy” or “hater,” my use of Apple products for work will change very little.  However, my personal purchase plans have already changed and I hope others might be spared some of the inconvienience and inepttude I experienced in my last visit:

Short version:

Rather than complete a simple warranty exchange, they want me to make an appointment to drive back to the store to exchange a defective power adapter that is well within the one-year warranty.  Seriously.  They actually wanted to put me on “Standby” and expected me to hang around for 2-3 hours in case a “genius” became available to evaluate my power adapter and determine why it doesn’t work.

I don’t really care why it doesn’t work.  It doesn’t work.  My warranty says that it should work (for at least 5 more months).  It doesn’t work.

After skipping us and having a lengthy conversation with two other people, the concierge finally addressed us.  I showed her the power adapter and the receipt.  She asked if I had my MacBook Pro with me, though it was obvious that I did not.  She then said that the service department would need to attach the power adapter to the machine to see whether the problem was with the adapter or the laptop.  I told her that I have already done that and that all other appropriate power adapters can be used to both power and charge the laptop, but the defective adapter does not work to charge the battery on other laptops.

She was clearly confused by this and circled us to get to her scheduling computer, where she entered my name and email address.  She then told me that she could schedule a time for me to come back to the store – two days later to have a “genius” evaluate my adapter.  She also explained that she has taken the liberty of putting me on “standby” in case there is a no-show or the “geniuses” get ahead and can work me in.

Seriously?  I have a defective item that is under warranty.  (I didn’t have to make an appointment to purchase the adapter.) They don’t even have to look it up in the big ‘ole database – I also have the receipt.  I have placed the defective item, the receipt, and the original paperwork, inside the original (and quite perfect) packaging.  All they have to do is go find a box that looks just like this here purty box and switch ‘em.  Heck, I’d even sign my name on one of those little ‘ole return forms that some of those not-very-customer-friendly chains require – I’m not difficult.

I didn’t even say any of the stuff in the paragraph above.  Instead, I said that it seems ludicrous to go through all of that just to exchange a defective item that is clearly under warranty.

The concierge double-checked with her manager and then explained to me that a power adapter needs to be fully evaluated by an Apple Genius because “the service department has parts” and they need to look at it because “they have the parts.”  I reminded her that a power adapter does not have replaceable parts and that I don’t need to have it evaluated, just replaced.  There is nothing to fix – they just need to exchange it.  She told me that a “genius” would have to see it, since they have the service department and the parts.

On January 7, after reading the initial comments, this section is being set apart to add emphasis.  I have no disagreement with a company that wants to check a device for misuse – I even say that further down. The part of the experience that was infuriating and unforgivable is here:

Again, I said that it is ridiculous to take this much time to replace a defective item that is under warranty and I turned to leave.  She asked about scheduling a time with a genius and I told her (again!) that it is ludicrous to take this kind of time to make a warranty exchange.

As my husband and I tried to leave the store, she followed after us, asking if she could get her manager and whether I would talk to her manager.  She then raised her voice, called out my name several times, and loudly asked whether I would be willing to talk to her manager.

Since our quiet discussion at the back of the store was being turned into a very public display in the middle of the store, we stopped and agreed.

Rather than exchange a defective power adapter, they wasted an amazing amount of time having a manager come out to explain to me that they need to evaluate the problem and fill out a report about the problem so Apple can see and correct the problem in future devices.

I asked why they need to perform this evaluation while the customer is in the store and she told me that if they just take an item off the shelf and exchange mine, the defective adapter will not go through the service department, but will just be thrown out and Apple can’t solve problems that way.

Seriously?!?!?

If you are a retailer and you have some kind of moronic policy on returns, at least give your customers the courtesy not to treat them like they are the morons.  Maybe you are a cell phone company and you need to check the little magic strip to see whether I have dropped it in a toilet; Maybe you are a car dealer and you need to look for damage to the frame; or maybe you sell power adapters and you need to check to see whether my cat has chewed a hole in the wire or whether I dropped the connector into a cup of hot chocolate (yep, I did that once – different adapter – it still worked.)   Whatever your needs, making up silly lines about the service guys having the right parts for your AC adapter or saying that the company needs to keep you there to determine the nature of the problem in order to save all future customers from this problem does nothing but show disdain and a total lack of respect for your customers – aka, your former customers.

The Apple Store at West Town Mall in Knoxville chose to let me walk out of the store with the defective device, rather than do the right (and SIMPLE) thing.

BTW, I wonder whether they consider the far-reaching effects of word-of-mouth.  I really don’t want to get into a big, long formula, but a little simple addition of only our public social-networking contacts leaves this tale of customer couldn’t-care-less-ness reaching about 996 direct contacts on Facebook and Twitter.  I have talked to enough co-workers to put this number well over 1,000.

I am hoping those 1,000 people tell their 1,000 contacts to avoid the West Town Apple Store (if they can’t avoid Apple all together!).

“In 5th grade we learned how to say “my friends are nice” in 10 different languages. If I remembered how, I’d say it now.”

What a great thought!  Guessing that there must be some magic teacher worksheet for that, I Googled every possible combination of those terms.

Nothing was found for “my friends are nice” as a list of languages.  I did find zillions of blogs, comments, tweets, etc. with people of all ages using the words, “my friends are nice.” – Unexpected, but nice.

Lists that were easy to find were:

“How to Say Thanks in Different Languages“
“How to Say Hello in 10 Different Languages“
“How To Say Goodbye In Different Languages“
“How to Say (and Pronounce) I Love You in 10 Different Languages”

So, “Boo” to “Google Search” and “Hello, Google Translate!”

Now, you can say “My friends are nice” in 42 languages. Pick your favorite and say it often.  (If it doesn’t apply to your friends, look for new ones. )

Albanian:      Miqtë e mi janë të këndshme.

Arabic:           أصدقائي لطيفة.

Bulgarian:     Моите приятели са добре.

Catalan:         Els meus amics són agradables.

Chinese:        我的朋友都很好。

Croatian:       Moji prijatelji su dobri.

Czech:            Moji přátelé jsou hezké.

Danish:          Mine venner er rare.

Dutch:            Mijn vrienden zijn leuk.

English:         My friends are nice.

Estonian:      Minu sõbrad on kena.

Filipino:        Aking mga kaibigan ay nice.

Finnish:         Ystäväni ovat mukavia.

French:          Mes amis sont sympas.

Galician:        Meus amigos son agradáveis.

German:        Meine Freunde sind nett.

Greek:            Οι φίλοι μου είναι ωραίο.

Hebrew:         החברים שלי הם נחמדים.

Hindi:             मेरे दोस्त अच्छे हैं.

Hungarian:    Barátaim szép.

Indonesian:    Teman saya yang baik.

Italian:            I miei amici sono bello.

Japanese:       私のお友達と良いです。

Korean:          내 친구가 좋은가없습니다.

Latvian:         Mani draugi ir jauki.

Lithuania:     Mano draugai yra gražus.

Maltese:         Ħbieb tiegħi huma sbieħ.

Norwegian:   Mine venner er fin.

Persian:         دوستان خوب من هستند.

Polish:            Moi znajomi są miłe.

Portuguese    Meus amigos são agradáveis.

Romanian:    Prietenii mei sunt draguti.

Russian:         Мои друзья приятно.

Serbian:         Моји пријатељи су добри.

Slovak:           Moji priatelia sú pekné.

Slovenian:      Moji prijatelji se lepo.

Spanish:         Mis amigos son agradables.

Swedish:        Mina vänner är trevliga.

Thai:                เพื่อนที่ดีของฉัน.

Turkish:           Arkadaşlarım hoş.

Ukrainian:      Мої друзі приємно.

Vietnamese:   Bạn bè của tôi là tốt đẹp.

If your favorite language isn’t here, please add it to the comments section!

Someone at the Murphy-Goode Winery had an amazing PR idea. The execution of that idea (whether poor planning or someone’s crass indifference toward their customer base), has quickly become a nightmare.

At best, Murphy-Goode has shown that it is a company with no concept of the breadth and strength of current social media. At worst, it has shown the world that it is a company completely devoid of basic ethics.

It began with the advertisements

“…for an outgoing, web-savvy, articulate communicator to tell the story of the great mountain vines and artisan winemakers of California, tasting the “goode” stuff and experiencing the spectacular Sonoma wine country. The search has been covered by CNN, FOX, NBC, ABC, CBS and in hundreds of major daily papers and newscasts from London to India, thousands of blog and Twitter sites, and has drawn crowds when winemaker Dave Ready, Jr. visits select cities.” Murphy-Goode media release

Martin Sargent was one of  hundreds of applicants.  So what makes Sargent special?  Is it his application video?  His website? His vast social media (and other media!) experience?

“Martin Sargent began his television career with ZDTV in 1998. Since then he’s hosted, written and developed shows for such networks as TechTV, G4, USA Network, and Comedy Central. Most recently, he hosted Internet Superstar and Web Drifter for Revision3. Martin graduated Summa Cum Laude and Phi Beta Kappa with a degree in English from Cornell University.” www.martinsargent.com

On June 17th, after being posted for less than 24 hours, his video had 2,000 votes – far more than any other.  By the application deadline, June 19th, it was well over 4,000 votes – more than double the votes of any other video on the site. By the end, the number was over 6,000.

When Murphy-Goode pared down the candidates to the “top” 50, Martin Sargent’s name was not on the list.  In his twitter feed, he graciously thanked his fans and congratulated those who would be continuing in the competition:

“Thank you all for your tremendous support!  But I am not included in the top 50 candidates for @areallygoodjob. Congrats to those who were.”

Martin’s graciousness did not spill over to his thousands of disappointed fans.

They feel cheated.  They feel betrayed. And they feel ready to pour their anger into their blogs while pouring “badde” wine down the drain:

First, came the Digg post by nace33

“Murphy-Goode says #1 spot isn’t good enough to make top 50″

“Murphy-Goode announced their top 50 for their really good job contest. The only problem is that @martinsargent wasn’t in it. So, for all those that voted, looks like your votes meant nothing to Murphy-Goode. Forget me, forget you Murphy-Goode!”

The last time I checked, nace33′s  post had over 300 comments and had been “dugg” more than 2000 times.

Then, Kevin Rose Tweeted the story:

“Wow, Murphy-Goode Winery (@areallygoodjob) just screwed @martinsargent (even though he won most votes)”

Of course, this is just one little tweet.  No biggie.  Kevin Rose only has 916,309 followers. Er, make that 916, 326. 329. 334.  Well, crap. I can’t type fast enough to keep up with those numbers.  Maybe none of them drink wine.  Maybe they all missed his post.

If anyone on the planet had missed the story, surely they didn’t miss Leo’s thoughts:

The most pointed post is Leo Laporte’s:

“You’re on my list, Murphy-Goode (and it ain’t a shopping list).”

When and how do they start trying to dig out from under this mess?  The only thing found so far (and I have Looked!) is a Sunday morning Facebook note.  It got comments from nearly a dozen people.

Angry mobs wielding pitchforks and torches just can’t be ignored, but you might have more luck with them than with angry geeks wielding social media.

We will be watching to see how this plays out.